Harold the Zombie – Chapter 4

If you would like to read Harold the Zombie from the beginning you can find Chapter One HERE.

From Doctor Igor Frankenstein’s Journal

It has been an amazing two years! My whole life I have studied Zombies, their myths, legends and many times dead bodies. The problem with myths and legend is, they are JUST that, myths and legends. While I believe Harold will confirm the truth of many of these myths, I also believe he will prove the utter absurdity of others.

The dead bodies of Zombies can tell us a great deal of a Zombie anatomy, and from that we can infer a great deal about their patterns of behavior.  A dead body however, is a poor substitute for the living thing. After studying dead Zombies I came up with so many questions! Why did the state of certain bodies differ than others. One body would look perfectly healthy, and just like a normal human being. Another would be horribly disfigured, with flesh rotting off its bones. Upon a closer inspection I found this condition was not due to death, but was the Zombies natural state while in life.

Other questions emerged like, why can a Zombie not digest normal food? Harold has already proven that zombies can eat normal food, and even digest it. However most “normal” foods, from what I can observe, have no nutritional help to the Zombie. Unless a Zombies food comes from another human being, the Zombie simply passes the food through its body, and eventually expels it. I am curious to see, as Harold get older, what the effect of animals products, such as steak and chicken, will have on his body.

In the past I used to pray to whatever God would listen that I would have the chance to study a real life Zombie. I desperately wanted answers to these and other questions that plagued my inner brain. And then as if in answer Harold came into my life. He is amazing! A dream come true. Not only do I have a real life Zombie to study and observe, I also get to watch him grow up! How incredibly lucky and blessed I am!

My first observation was a surprising one. Zombie children grow at the same rate of speed as a normal human child. My original theory was that if we mixed the concentration of blood, flesh, and brains as the child grew we would find a certain combination that would accelerate his growth. However I was wrong.

Legends talk about Zombies growing incredibly strong from the things they ate, and developing inhuman strength. I myself dissected the body of a Zombie that had twice the normal amount of muscle then the average human. Perhaps this is something that takes place after puberty? My theory is, if it is true that a Zombie can grow based off what it eats, it must be a talent only available to adults.

Nevertheless I am delighted to have been able to observe Harold for the last two years. I was as excited as his parents when he started crawling, and eventually took his first step. I was especially exuberant when Harold said his first word “Brains!” I couldn’t believe it he said “BRAINS!” I was a giddy as a school girl when his teeth started coming in, however not so giddy when Harold learned to bite….on my own arm. I think when he bit me his instincts took over for he tried to gnaw on my arm as if he were eating a chicken wing. This will certainly be something we will need to watch and keep an eye on. His appetite is incredible. I figure he is eating twice the amount of a normal human child. I must work to keep George and Louis stocked with a good amount of food for Harold. At this rate he is going to eat the morgues out of house and home!

“Harold, if you don’t eat all of your brains and drink all of your blood, then no TV for you tonight mister!” Louis said.

Harold looked at his plate, which had a small but healthy portion of human brains on it, and a medium cup of blood next to it. He like all two year olds didn’t want to eat his supper. This of course is a mystery to all parents, because the law states that as soon as the food is put away the child will tell you that they are hungry. This of course drives all parents borderline insane! So parents all around the world have tried everything to get their child to eat. Some have tried bribery like If you eat you food you will get ice cream. Some have tried threats like If you don’t eat your food you are going straight to your room! Others have tried manipulation like here comes the airplane. And many have resorted to pleading like PLEASE eat your food, I’m begging you! Despite all of these attempts children over the years have learned to see through all of them, and still they refuse to eat their food.

Harold was no different, Zombie or not, Harold was still a typical two year old, and like every other two year old Harold did not want to eat his supper.

“NO! I don’t want to eat stupid brains! They are slimy and don’t taste good!” Harold said.

“George I have had it! All week he has been like this! He is your son DEAL with him!” Louis said. With that she got up from the table and went upstairs stomping every bit of the way. When she got up stairs to her and George’s room she slammed the door.

“Hrfmm!” Harold said while folding his arms with a scowl.

“Harold, why do you do this? You and I both know that the moment I put your food away you will start asking for something to eat. We do this every night. Eat your supper or I am putting it away, and you won’t get anything to eat for the rest of the night.” George said.

“But I don’t want to eat brains again. That’s all I ever eat. Why do I have to eat the same things every night? I want to eat what you and Mommy are eating.” Harold said in a very whiney voice.

“Harold we have been over this before. You are very special, and because you are special you have to eat special food. The food Mommy and Daddy eat is not good for you. If you don’t eat you special food then you will get sick, and you don’t want to get sick do you?” George said.

Harold shook his head.

“That’s a good boy, so if you don’t want to get sick you need to eat you food.” George said.

“No!” Harold Said

“Harold I am starting to lose my patients. Enough of this nonsense eat your supper, or I will send you to your room for the rest of the night.” George said.

With that Harold did what all two year olds do when they don’t get their way. He threw a fit! Within seconds Harold had picked up his plate and thrown it across the table. Brains flew everywhere and the dish broke against the hard surface of the table. The glass of blood had been knocked over and the blood was spilling all over the table and down onto the floor. Having gone through this a time or two George and Louis had the carpets stain guarded and the floor around the dinner table was covered in a thin layer of plastic. After they had to have the carpets replaced twice from spilt blood or flesh George and Louis took precautions.

Harold didn’t seem to mind that there was now blood and brains everywhere. He threw himself down on the ground and started thrashing about screaming, and yelling.

“That’s it Harold! Go to your room right now! If you are not in your room by the time I count to five I am going to paddle your bottom harder than you think possible! 1! 2! 3! 4! I’m serious Harold GO TO YOUR ROOM!” George screamed.

Finally Harold picked himself up off the floor, where he had been kicking and screaming, and headed towards the stairs. As he started up the stairs George could hear him crying all the way up and into his room. The door clicked shut behind him, and all was quiet inside the house.

George walked over to the couch and flopped himself down. He was tired! He had just spent all day at the factory working and managing his staff. He spent his whole day making decisions and working with difficult people. The last thing he wanted to do is come home and deal with the same thing. As he sat on the couch Louis came down the stairs and sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry George. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that. I know you have a hard time coming home to such chaos.” Louis said.

“It’s ok dear. I shouldn’t have shouted at him. I will give him a few minutes to calm down and then go and apologize. I hope then he will be ready to eat. After what Doctor Frankenstein said I am scared to death for Harold to miss even one meal.” George said.

“George!” Louis said laughing “Harold is not going to turn into a raving man killing Zombie after missing one meal. Doctor Frankenstein said it would take weeks for the instincts to take over.” Louis said.

“I know, I know, but it still makes me nervous. We have to be so careful. I love Harold, but he scares me sometimes. Well not him per say, but what he could be. Doctor Frankenstein made it sound so….horrible.” George said.

“You always did have an active imagination. Harold is completely normal. If you don’t count the fact that he drinks blood, and eats brains, but other than that he is a perfectly normal two year old.” Louis said.

George looked at the kitchen table. Blood was slowly dripping off the edges of the table down onto the plastic where it made little pools. The contents of Harold’s plate were strewn about the table and floor, mixing with the blood the brains made for a gruesome site.

“I swear I may never get used to this. Could you imagine what people would think if they walked in on this? They would think we were secret killers who liked to dissect our victims and eat them. I mean look at this mess. It looks like something straight out of a horror film” George said with an exasperated sigh.

“I will clean it up dear, you go talk to Harold. He looks up to you so much. I don’t want you to to go to bed angry with each other.” Louis said.

“Alright, thank you sweetheart.” George said and leaned over and kissed his wife on the cheek.

George got himself off the couch and made his way upstairs to Harold’s room. Knocking softly on the door George let himself in. Laying on the floor was his son. George leaned against the door frame and smiled. Harold was asleep on the floor. His blonde hair was in shambles, probably from the fit he threw earlier, and there were patches of dried blood on his hands and clothes.

“What an odd life I live.” George said smiling.

Reaching down George picked Harold up, and walked him over to his bed. Laying him down gently he went about undressing his son for bed. He got up only once to go to the bathroom and retrieve the baby wipes. Using the wipes George did his best to clean the blood off Harold’s hands, face and hair. Once he was all cleaned up and in a fresh pair of pajamas George placed him under the covers and leaned in to kiss the top of Harold’s forehead.

“Good night son. I love you.”

Before George could pull away Harold threw his arms around his neck and gave his father a warm hug. He had only been pretending to be asleep. George knew this, it had been a habit of Harold’s since he was an infant.

“I’m sorry Daddy. Please don’t be mad at me.” Harold said.

“I’m sorry too son, and i’m not mad at you. Would you like me to get you something to eat?” George said.

Harold just shook his head while still holding his father.

“OK Harold, you just want to go to sleep. You seem awfully tired.” George said.

“I’m sleepy.” Harold said in a whispered voice.

“Alright son, go to sleep and I will see you in the morning. I love you.” George said.

Harold was asleep before his head hit the pillow. George stood up, and tidied up the room a bit, and then walked to the door. Looking back on his sleeping son he couldn’t help but think, Zombie or not he was one lucky Dad!

One thought on “Harold the Zombie – Chapter 4

  1. Pingback: Harold the Zombie – Chapter 3 | Writers Block

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