self expression Archives - Behind the Lens

Growing up, we are often bombarded with societal expectations of what it means to be a “real” man. We are told to be strong, stoic, and always have it together. I myself grew up being told over and over again “When I was a child I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.” The first time I can remember my Father telling me that was shortly after I turned 8 years old. But let’s face it, life is messy, and sometimes we need to let loose and have some fun.

When I was younger, I had this idea that being a man meant I had to be serious all the time. I thought I had to let go of my childhood hobbies and interests and focus on “mature” activities. But the truth is, being a man is not about conforming to outdated stereotypes or what society thinks we should be. It’s about being true to ourselves and embracing the things that make us happy.

For me, that meant embracing my inner geek and diving back into my love for Dungeons and Dragons. It also meant allowing myself to indulge in my favorite movies and books, no matter how silly or childish they may seem to others. And you know what? It felt good. It reminded me that being an adult doesn’t mean we have to give up the things we love.

So, to all the men out there who feel like they have to conform to society’s expectations, I urge you to let go of those notions and embrace the things that make you happy. Whether it’s playing video games, reading comic books, or watching cheesy rom-coms, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to live it according to someone else’s standards.

And on that note, here are a few book recommendations that I believe every man (or anyone, really) should read:

Old Man’s War by John Scalzi – This science fiction novel explores a future where humanity has colonized the stars and follows protagonist John Perry as he joins the military at the age of 75 to fight for the future of the human race.
The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher – As you mentioned, this urban fantasy series follows Harry Dresden, a professional wizard and private investigator in Chicago. The series is action-packed, full of humor, and will keep you on the edge of your seat.
The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne – This fantasy series follows the adventures of Atticus O’Sullivan, the last of the Druids, as he navigates through supernatural dangers and encounters gods, goddesses, and other mythical beings.

Remember, reading is a personal and subjective experience. Don’t let anyone tell you what books you should or should not read. Instead, focus on finding books that you enjoy and that make you happy.

Ultimately, I learned that being a man is not about adhering to rigid stereotypes or societal expectations. It’s about being true to yourself and embracing the things that make you happy, even if they involve wizards, dragons, or spaceships. And let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to ride a dragon into battle or blast off into the galaxy with a motley crew of misfits? So go ahead, embrace your inner geek, and revel in the wonder of fiction and fantasy. After all, life is too short to take ourselves too seriously!

Yesterday my friend Kiri Callaghan wrote a blog post entitled Just To Be Different. I loved every word of it, because it brought out a feeling that I have carried with me for a long time. I, like my friend Kiri, would spend hours customizing the look and feel of my characters in games. I can still remember the first time I played NeverWinter Nights. I must have spent at least two hours adjusting everything about my character until I got it just right!

When it came to adjusting my own look & style I was no different. I would find a look or style I liked off of a TV or movie character and try and incorporate it into my own personal style. And it did not end there. I would randomly rearrange the furniture in my room, or apartment, change the cut or style of my hair, mess with the display settings on my computer, and constantly tweet the notification sounds on my phone.

Today, not much has changed. I am balding, so there is little I can do with changing my hair style. However I have decided I like the buzzed head look and feel. But I still enjoy customizing and changing different aspects of my look & style. I have fallen in love with tattoos, and am quickly developing a list of tattoos I want to get.

I look around and see so many people who loose this sense of creativity. They stop feeling their sense of unique expression, and they fall into the suite and tie mentality. They start saying to themselves that they are an adult now, and should start acting like an adult. Whenever I hear that I want to scream! I am 32 years old, I make a good living, am responsible, own my own car, pay my bills, and live in a nice house. That has always been the definition of being an adult to me.

Why did people start thinking that the only way you could be an adult was to give up all your creativity, and love for unique self expression! I say this as I sit in my office, surrounded by other professionals, while I wear my brand new Doctor Who T-Shirt. I was so excited when this shirt came in the mail, and I have really enjoyed wearing it today.

I guess my point is be creative, be unique, be different. I don’t care if you are a child or an adult. Don’t let the world dictate what you should wear, how you should style you hair, or if you should get a tattoo. Do it, and be proud of it!