Embrace the Chaos

When I was a child my parents took me to a local book fair held inside a school gymnasium. I was so excited because even at a young age, and despite the fact that I wasn’t a very good reader, I loved books. They told stories. Stories that would fill my imagination with wonderful heroes, dark lands, and far-off adventures.

So as I wanted into the book fair and saw the gym filled with book vendors of every kind, standing behind folding tables decorated, and piled high with books, I could barely contain my excitement. I had every intention of finding a story to read.

At the time I was really into “choose your own adventure” books and had my heart set on finding a few new ones to add to my meager collection, but as I walked along the rows and rows of book vendors a book caught my attention. I was a white journal with Yoda on the cover in a cartoon image. I had not intended to get a journal, and truth be told I had never written in a journal before, but there was something about this book that drew me to it. So with the small allowance I had saved, I purchased my very first journal.

I had grown up watching my father write in a journal regularly, and I was excited to be doing something that emulated him, so when I got home I took my journal to my room, sat down at my little desk, a desk that used to belong to my father as a child, and began to write my first page…

I don’t remember what I wrote, to be honest, but I remember hating it. It wasn’t right, it didn’t look like my dad’s journal pages, my handwriting was messy, and my thoughts were dumb. The bottom line…it wasn’t perfect.

In a frustrated fit, I remember ripping the 1st page out of the journal, because if it wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist. So I crumpled up the paper, tossed it over my shoulder, and turned back to the journal to try again. Again and again, I tried to write, and again and again, I kept ripping pages out, all because I was under the misguided idea that if what I created wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist.

After doing this over and over again for some time I now had a new problem. I had ripped so many pages out of the journal that the inside spine was now scared, damaged, and clearly missing pages. The journal no longer looked nice. The journal was no longer perfect.

I tried to fix it, but the damage was done. In my quest for perfection, I had destroyed the very object that just a few hours before had brought me so much happiness and excitement. This idea of perfectionism and the notion that if it wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist would follow me for many years to come, and many more journals fell to this misguided idea.

But it wasn’t just journals, I threw away photos I had taken, stories I had written, song recordings I had done, and so much more. If I couldn’t be “perfect” in a certain class, I would just stop trying. If I couldn’t be perfect at a new skill I just wouldn’t learn.

Over and over again I would lose out on so many things because in my mind anything that wasn’t perfect didn’t deserve to exist.

Thankfully, I eventually learned that I was wrong and that perfectionism is nothing worth striving for. Perfectionism is a myth. A myth that doesn’t really exist. No one can achieve perfectionism, in any aspect of their life or talent. And while it may look like people can, from the outside looking in, there is always room for people to grow.

The trick is to abandon the idea that you need to be perfect in anything and instead embrace the chaos that is this life. Life is messy, disorganized, chaotic, and so much more, but it is within that very chaos that real beauty, real art, and real impact actually live.

So to whoever is reading this… in regards to whatever you are trying to be perfect at, regardless of if it is just living life like being a good parent, child, teacher, or student or a form of art like photography, painting, writing, makeup, acting, and more, or a discipline like academia, science, mathematics, etc. Remember this…

Perfectionism has destroyed more good things than it has ever created. Embrace the chaos. You deserve to exist.

Embracing the Journey

As an artist, I believe that it’s essential to revisit your old creations and compare them with your current ones. In this world, we have a lot of talented people who may not always see the value in their work. They might even think that their creations are terrible, worthless, or not good enough. Despite this, they keep trying, keep practicing, and keep sharing their work. This kind of perseverance is bravery in action.

I recall a few years ago when I received an invitation to visit a local video game bar in Orlando, FL. They were hosting a Star Wars Day celebration and had encouraged everyone to attend dressed up in their best Star Wars costumes. As a photographer, I arrived there eager to capture some amazing photos of the attendees carrying light sabers.

Once I got back home, I edited the photos using the skills I had acquired up until that point. The outcome of my effort was not terrible, but it was clear that there were a lot of mistakes and things that I could have done better. However, I choose to look at those photos as a stepping stone to where I am today, and not as a source of self-criticism.

Admittedly, many people scrutinize their past work every day and berate themselves for not doing better. But, for me, it’s important to acknowledge that my past work was a vital part of my learning journey that brought me to where I am today. I am proud of the fact that I took those photos and used all the skills that I had at the time. And, more importantly, I was willing to keep learning and acquiring new skills as time went on to continue improving.

If I hadn’t continued to learn, I would not have been able to take and edit the stunning photos that I took of my wife this year on Star Wars Day. These pictures are a testament to the progress that I have made as a photographer and artist. And, for that, I choose to celebrate my past work instead of belittling it.

42 Bits of Wisdom: Lessons I’ve Learned on My 42nd Birthday

I am celebrating my 42nd birthday today, and like many others I know, I don’t feel my age. Despite feeling much younger, the fact remains that I have lived on this planet for 42 years and have seen and experienced a lot. Although I don’t consider myself an expert in life, I have picked up some truths during my time here. So, on this special day, I’d like to share with you a few bits of knowledge that I have acquired throughout my life.

Holding a grudge is a foolish practice. I grew up in a family that was notorious for holding grudges as a means of punishment, but I eventually learned that holding a grudge is like holding a hot coal in the palm of your hand and expecting to burn someone else.

Politics, religion, and family are subjects that make people blind, and no matter how compelling your argument may be, you will never win a fight about them. It is better to let it go, move on, and allow others to live in their own beliefs.

The family you choose is more important than the family you were born into. Additionally, you should never make fun of someone if they haven’t seen/heard/watched something. Furthermore, you shouldn’t feel guilty about things that bring you joy, even if they may be perceived as “geeky” or “uncool” by others. If your friends make fun of you for something you enjoy, they are not your real friends.

You should not trust tradition or the status quo blindly. It’s often not the right path to follow. Instead, choose your own path, even if it’s unconventional.

It’s crucial to go to therapy.

Honesty is always the best policy. Too many lies are told out of fear, and if you can’t trust the people around you with the truth, then they shouldn’t be in your life.

Most people should not get married before the age of 30. Furthermore, you don’t need a fancy wedding day to signify your love for someone; it’s the relationship that matters, not the wedding.

Taking lots of pictures and videos is essential to preserve memories. Similarly, telling the people in your life that you love them often is crucial.

Many of the “great” things in this world are overrated. Instead, define your own “great.”

Writing letters and thank you notes to people can make their day.

Imposter syndrome, anxiety, and depression can’t speak the truth; they only speak fear.

It’s okay to have a messy house; who cares if someone sees it or judges you for it? If someone judges you for having a messy house, they don’t need to be in your life.

Don’t live your life for other people. Instead, buy what brings you joy, dress in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable, and live your life for you.

Nobody cares about the things you’re bragging about; they may even resent you for it. It’s better to keep your wins and losses private because you don’t know how others will react.

Never stop learning.

It’s essential to learn to be comfortable with being bad at something new. Many of us were raised with the idea that we must be good at everything we do, but it’s okay to be bad at something when we’re learning.

Make sleep a priority. It’s important for your physical and mental health.

Staying hydrated is crucial. Drinking enough water can do wonders for your body.

Always return your shopping cart. There’s simply no excuse for leaving it in the parking lot. It’s a small act of kindness that can make a big difference.

Don’t fall for the allure of fame. It’s often an illusion and doesn’t bring true happiness.

Give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished in life. Celebrate the victories and challenges you’ve overcome.

Music is a gift that can inspire and heal. Take time to appreciate its beauty and power.

Mental health issues like ADHD, depression, and anxiety are real and should be openly discussed and supported.

It’s okay to have a collection of unread books. The joy of collecting and owning books is often enough.

Trying to please everyone is impossible. Focus on being true to yourself and your values.

Many companies and corporations exploit their customers. Be aware of their practices and hold them accountable.

Don’t expect your job to care about you as a person. In many cases, you’re replaceable. Companies that claim to be like family should be approached with caution.

Be wary of the police and always have a lawyer present when speaking with them. Protect your rights and interests.

The world is imperfect and unfair. Learning to forgive and finding inner peace can help navigate life’s challenges.

Learn to distinguish between intuition and fear. Trusting your instincts can be a powerful tool.

Sex is often portrayed as more important than it really is. It’s not the only or most significant aspect of relationships.

Women should have autonomy over their own bodies and choices. Society should respect and support them.

LGBTQ+ people deserve the same rights and opportunities as anyone else. Discrimination has no place in our society.

Coke is superior to Pepsi. It’s a matter of personal taste, but let’s be honest – Coke is the real deal.

Chips and salsa is the ultimate comfort food. It’s hard to resist the satisfying crunch and tangy flavor.

Remember that you matter. Your existence and contributions have value and significance.

Age is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. Embrace the wisdom and opportunities that come with it.