136. Depressed

Today at work was a bad day! Things at work have been getting worse and worse.

Before anyone tells me that I should post anything on my blog about work let me just say this….I appreciate the concern….I no longer care!

That being said this post really is not about work. Its about finding your place in this world. Over the last two years I have worked to find out who I am and find myself. I have enjoyed the journey, and have discovered some interesting things. The one thing I have toyed with is my professional life. For some time now I have known that what I am doing now is not the best fit for me. To be honest I dont think I am even close to being fit right in my career. I am good at my job, but I dont like what I do. I have some ideas of what I would like to do, but they all require me to step off a cliff and jump into the air with out a safety net. That scares me A LOT!

Here in Washington I just moved into a nice house, I like the area, and I have better friends then I have ever had in my entire life (with the exception of my mission). I dont want to loose any of these things. I REALLY dont want to move again! I am tired of moving! Washington is the first place in a long time that I feel like I am at home.

48. Being a Geek in the Real World

Last night, even though I was sick was a pleasent one for me. I was able to read a couple chapters in my current book, Fearless, which is the second book of the seris The Lost Fleet. I got three pages of story written from this past weeks gaming, and I was able to read the first issue of The Guildes new comic.

When it came time to go to bed and put away my geeky things I felt a certain sense of saddness that the following day I would have to return to the real world where I couldnt totally be myself. As I have explained before most of the people I work with are hunters and fishermen, and have no interest in Geek related things. So when i work in Firefly quotes, like I did this afternoon (“Why dont things ever go smooth?), no one has a clue what I am talking about.

Note: I also worked in a Star Wars quote too: “I look forward to completeing your training”, and all I got was a blank stare.

Moving back and forth from the Geek world to the real world is hard. This is why I am hoping someday that I wont have to switch from one to the other. I hope someday I can keep my feet solidly in Geek territory and never have to come out. I would love to be able to wear my Geek T-Shirts every day of the week, instead of just on Fridays. I would love to able to have long lunch conversations about what I would do with a Light Saber in the real world instead of trying to keep up with a fishing or sports story.

Ahhhhh to be a Geek full time instead of part time. That would be nice!