Embracing the Complexity Within

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

On some days, I find myself drawn to the refuge of my journals and introspections. My mind, though tumultuous, holds a peculiar comfort, for it is a realm I know intimately. In contrast, the outer world has always been an uncomfortable place for me. It can be harsh and unforgiving, demanding conformity and the sacrifice of one’s uniqueness.

I often wish I had appreciated the complexity of my mind in the past as I do now. I realize that the constraints I’ve felt were largely self-imposed, a result of shrinking into a smaller version of myself. Regrettably, the world sometimes encourages this diminishment.

I spent too many years yielding to the world’s expectations. But those days are behind me now. From this moment on, I aim to embrace and celebrate my intricate, occasionally perplexing, yet brilliant and creative mind. Some may view this as arrogance, but perhaps it’s how society has conditioned us to believe that recognizing our own greatness is an act of hubris.

In reality, we all carry the potential for greatness within us. It doesn’t require the world’s validation, but it does demand our recognition and the responsibility it entails. We are the stewards of our own potential, and our worth is not defined by the world’s judgments.

What unique insights lie concealed within my being that the world cannot perceive? What aspects of myself does society encourage me to suppress, and why? How does my self-repression contribute to the world’s limitations? Conversely, how can accepting and embracing my true self lead to a better world, not for accolades, but for the inherent responsibility it brings?

Let not the world’s prejudices deter you from being true to yourself. Those who left their mark on history, as well as those whose stories remain untold, were often unconventional and bold. They declared, “This is who I am!” and resisted the pull of conformity, not for the sake of recognition or applause but for the inner validation and self-worth they deserved.

Embracing the Artistic Journey: A Tale of Unveiling Creativity

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In the hallowed corridors of my self-reflection, I’ve never considered myself an artist. Words like thinker and observer found cozy corners in the gallery of my self-identity, but artist? Never. All my life, I watched as others conjured breathtaking works of art, marveling at their innate talent. But I, I believed, didn’t have the gift. The talent that effortlessly transformed blank canvases into masterpieces eluded me.

I ventured into the realm of artistic expression a few times, testing the waters. One summer, I enrolled in a community art class, eager to explore this latent aspect of my being. However, the cruel truth of my lack of natural-born talent soon became painfully apparent. It was disheartening to confront the possibility of being subpar at something initially, the grim prospect of creating mediocre art repeatedly until mastery seemed daunting. My perfectionism, a relentless companion, wouldn’t allow me to endure such a learning curve.

But then, a revelation dawned on me as I began to capture moments through the lens of an old Canon Rebel I had discovered. I uncovered an innate sense for beauty and a willingness to persevere in my photographic endeavors, even when I was still a novice. Criticism and self-doubt often loomed over me, casting their somber shadows. Nevertheless, day by day, I continued to press that shutter button, crafting my skill with each click. Working with the play of light and the dance of colors, I realized that a glimmer of creativity might indeed reside within me.

Deep down, I had always yearned to draw, a desire that had nestled within me since childhood. However, I lacked the discipline to embark on the arduous journey of learning to sketch, to paint, to master the art of visual storytelling.

But change has now unfurled its enigmatic wings within my life. You see, too many souls spend their existence dwelling in the realm of wishes. They dream of doing something, hoping for the magical moment when their aspirations will materialize. Yet, wishes are but fleeting whispers, evaporating into nothingness. They remain trapped in the realm of thought, unfulfilled.

I may never be the artist I long to be, but that will not deter me. I have resolved to practice relentlessly, to sketch with reckless abandon, and to study the intricate interplay of shadows and light. I will fill countless notebooks and sketchbooks until my well of paper runs dry, and my once-lengthy pencil dwindles into a mere stub.

The crux of the matter is this: I no longer wish; I do. In this newfound journey, I embrace my own subtle creativity, a realm of enigmatic allure and intellectual exploration. I unravel the layers of my artistic identity, one stroke at a time, allowing the intricacies of art to lead me into the depths of my creative potential.

31 Days of Halloween

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As the calendar turns its pages and we usher in the crisp embrace of October 1st, my excitement reaches its peak – for this marks the commencement of my most cherished month. With the falling leaves and the whispering winds, the Halloween season graces us with its enchanting presence.

My love affair with Halloween traces back to the days of my childhood, adorned with pumpkin patches, the meticulous artistry of carving intricate designs into chosen pumpkins, and the warm embrace of hot apple cider during neighborhood trick-or-treating escapades. There was even a mischievous phase where I, hidden amidst the Halloween decorations adorning our family home, delighted in startling passing kids and adults alike. Needless to say, I reveled in their startled reactions.

Every passing year has been a canvas for crafting unique and special Halloween memories, and this year is no exception. Collaborating with my talented wife, Leslie, who happens to be a Special Effects Makeup artist, and myself, a photographer, we are embarking on a thrilling journey of creativity.

In the spirit of this spooky season, Leslie and I have decided to gift our Instagram followers with 31 distinct pieces of Halloween content. Brace yourselves for an extraordinary visual experience, where the artistry of Special Effects Makeup converges with the lens of photography to create something truly magical. From eerie transformations to hauntingly beautiful compositions, our 31 Days of Halloween promise to be a spectacle you won’t want to miss.

So, if you haven’t already, I strongly urge you to join us on Instagram. Follow Leslie and me as we unfold a month-long Halloween extravaganza, a labor of love and creativity. Trust me, you won’t want to miss out on this captivating journey through the mystical realms of October. Let the countdown to the 31 Days of Halloween begin! 🎃👻

Doubt and Triumph in Photography

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

Navigating a whirlwind of emotions, I find myself pondering a common quandary: why do so many gifted and genuinely good individuals grapple with doubt regarding the significance of their creative endeavors? Does our art truly resonate with someone’s soul? Is it, indeed, beautiful? The haunting story of Vincent Van Gogh, who departed this world convinced of his own failure, echoes in my thoughts. I can’t help but wonder how many other creatives share a similar struggle at this very moment—talented souls wrestling with self-doubt, their worth unnoticed.

Today, during my explorations, I stumbled upon a portrait studio unfamiliar to me. Intrigued, I ventured inside to meet its youthful owner—an entrepreneur running a successful franchise, with his work adorning Times Square. While genuinely celebrating his achievements, a question lingers: when will my moment of triumph arrive?

A photo I captured of my wife Leslie

I’ve shared this tale before, but the roots of my love for photography trace back to high school, where I cherished moments with my father’s vintage Canon 35mm film camera. However, my journey into photography remained dormant for years, likely stifled by the expectations of the religious upbringing that guided my early life. The prescribed path was clear: grow up, embark on a mission, return, marry, have kids, and serve the church. Creative pursuits were not championed as enduring skills.

Ten years ago, at the age of 32, I picked up a camera and discovered the enchanting world of photography. From that point on, my journey involved relentless study, practice, and overcoming failures. I delved into understanding light, honed my editing skills, and meticulously crafted a unique style that felt authentically mine. It was a process of self-discovery and artistic definition.

Embracing photography earnestly on Instagram in 2019, I embarked on a mission to create and share meaningful work. Yet, financial success has proven elusive. Securing paying clients and mastering the intricacies of transforming my passion into a thriving business pose ongoing challenges. At 42, I’m acutely aware that the sands of time may have more behind than ahead. The prospect of a perpetual uphill struggle looms, but I’m resolved to face it with dignity and courage.

Despite life’s hardships and numerous hurdles, I’m not throwing in the towel. There’s a fervent desire for life to swing my way a bit more, for my aspirations to materialize sooner. Yet, my love for photography remains unwavering. I’ll persist in molding my creative pursuits into a business that can sustain both myself and my family.

Journeying Through Dark Academia: My Tumblr-Inspired Exploration of Swan House

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In November 2013, I embarked on a curious journey by joining the whimsical realm of Tumblr. Little did I know then how profoundly this seemingly frivolous platform would impact my life, enduring through the years to 2023. As I ventured into Tumblr’s eclectic tapestry, my attention was consistently ensnared by a particular aesthetic: Dark Academia.

Within the labyrinth of Tumblr, I found myself captivated by images portraying the allure of Dark Academia – be it the enchanting libraries, partially consumed cups of coffee, or the spellbinding creations of art and architecture. Amidst the plethora of geeky GIFs and whimsical memes that populate my Tumblr feed, the profound affection for Dark Academia emerges as a recurring theme in my posts.

This affection naturally transcended the digital realm and permeated my world of photography, leaving an indelible mark on my portfolio. The unmistakable influence of Dark Academia can be readily discerned in my body of work.

Therefore, when the opportunity arose this past weekend to visit Swan House, nestled in Atlanta, Georgia, I eagerly seized it. Despite the interference of my ever-restless ADHD, which initially compelled me to resist leaving the comforts of home, I can unequivocally say that venturing out was a decision well made. The sprawling beauty of Swan House’s 33-acre estate left me in awe, and the images I captured during my visit are nothing short of breathtaking.

Remarkably, even after spending nearly four hours exploring the grounds, I had only scratched the surface, having covered a mere quarter of the extensive estate. I eagerly anticipate my return, eager to delve deeper into the remaining acres and gather more photographic treasures.

Photographer’s Artistic Journey and Self-Comparison.

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

I recently jumped into a book by a fellow photographer, a book that delves deeply into this artist’s personal odyssey through the world of photography. He generously shares his formative experiences, recounting how he was gifted his 1st camera at the tender age of 8. Within the pages, he unveils some of the snapshots he captured as a child with that very camera, weaving his life story through the chapters, which document an impressive and unwavering evolution in his photographic prowess as he aged.

A self portrait taken 1 year ago today

As I immersed myself in his narrative, my initial response was one of genuine admiration, a whispered “That’s rather fascinating!” But lurking beneath the surface, an insidious notion began to creep into my thoughts—a comparison, pitting my own photographic journey against his. My introduction to photography was not at the age of 8, but during my high school years. I did not maintain a lifelong dedication to the craft as he did; in fact, my true commitment to this art only blossomed around a decade ago, punctuated by periods of fervent activity and intermittent lulls. My collection doesn’t preserve every single photograph I’ve ever taken; quite the contrary, many have been misplaced or lost over the years, thanks in no small part to my abysmal file organization. In sum, these unsettling thoughts led me down a path of self-doubt, questioning the very essence of my capabilities as a photographer.

This is precisely why comparing oneself to others is fraught with peril.

The unassailable truth is that there exists no universally correct or erroneous route to becoming an artist. Some commence their artistic journey in their tender years, perhaps at the age of 8, while others, like myself, embark on this path in their thirties. Still, others may not kindle their artistic flames until well past their retirement years. The crux of the matter is that there is no singularly correct or incorrect moment to begin, no unequivocal roadmap to follow. The only veritable imperative is to remain faithful to the passions that stir our hearts and fuel our creative spirits. We must craft art that resonates authentically with our own souls and has the power to evoke emotion, even if it’s solely within ourselves.

The point of all of this is to emphasize that it’s absolutely acceptable to learn from and draw inspiration from fellow artists. Nonetheless, we must remain steadfast in our understanding that just because their artistic journey appears distinct from our own does not render our own path any less meaningful or legitimate.

We Moved

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It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I can hardly believe that the last time I wrote down my thoughts here was back in May. Since then, life has thrown us some curveballs. Nothing bad, but there are reasons I have not had the time to write.

The 1st Self Portrait in the new house.

The biggest news is that we no longer call Florida home. After almost three years of contemplating and discussing it, Leslie and I finally made the leap to Atlanta, Georgia. It’s a significant move for us, primarily driven by Leslie’s passion for the film and TV industry. While the idea seemed brilliant in theory, our timing couldn’t have been more unfortunate.

For those not following the industry closely, a strike has paralyzed nearly 90% of film and TV productions. So, while we’ve physically relocated to Atlanta, the real work awaits us once the strike concludes and Leslie can begin her job hunt in earnest.

The 2023 Blue Moon taken with my Sony a7iii with a Pentax 200mm film lens mounted on my camera with an adapter.

In the meantime, we’re adapting to our new surroundings. Personally, I find the weather here much more pleasant, while Leslie occasionally pines for the scorching Florida heat. We’ve already begun immersing ourselves in Atlanta’s culture. One highlight was attending Goo Con, a special effects convention, where Leslie forged connections with talented artists in the industry. We also embarked on our first Atlanta date night at the Shakespeare Tavern, enjoying “The Complete Works of Shakespeare Abridged.”

Overall, our spirits are high, and we’re approaching the future with optimism. However, uncertainty looms, and there’s much in the unknown that we try not to fret over.

In the midst of it all, I’m eager to get back into photography and connect with potential clients. I’ll strive to update this site more frequently, and I have some exciting ideas for revamping its aesthetics. Some changes might take time, but who knows? I might find a creative burst of energy and spend a whole afternoon giving the website a fresh look.

So, as we embark on this new chapter in Atlanta, I invite you to stay tuned for updates on our journey, our challenges, and our triumphs. The road ahead may be uncertain, but one thing’s for sure – we’re ready to embrace it all.

Embrace the Chaos

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

When I was a child my parents took me to a local book fair held inside a school gymnasium. I was so excited because even at a young age, and despite the fact that I wasn’t a very good reader, I loved books. They told stories. Stories that would fill my imagination with wonderful heroes, dark lands, and far-off adventures.

So as I wanted into the book fair and saw the gym filled with book vendors of every kind, standing behind folding tables decorated, and piled high with books, I could barely contain my excitement. I had every intention of finding a story to read.

At the time I was really into “choose your own adventure” books and had my heart set on finding a few new ones to add to my meager collection, but as I walked along the rows and rows of book vendors a book caught my attention. I was a white journal with Yoda on the cover in a cartoon image. I had not intended to get a journal, and truth be told I had never written in a journal before, but there was something about this book that drew me to it. So with the small allowance I had saved, I purchased my very first journal.

I had grown up watching my father write in a journal regularly, and I was excited to be doing something that emulated him, so when I got home I took my journal to my room, sat down at my little desk, a desk that used to belong to my father as a child, and began to write my first page…

I don’t remember what I wrote, to be honest, but I remember hating it. It wasn’t right, it didn’t look like my dad’s journal pages, my handwriting was messy, and my thoughts were dumb. The bottom line…it wasn’t perfect.

In a frustrated fit, I remember ripping the 1st page out of the journal, because if it wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist. So I crumpled up the paper, tossed it over my shoulder, and turned back to the journal to try again. Again and again, I tried to write, and again and again, I kept ripping pages out, all because I was under the misguided idea that if what I created wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist.

After doing this over and over again for some time I now had a new problem. I had ripped so many pages out of the journal that the inside spine was now scared, damaged, and clearly missing pages. The journal no longer looked nice. The journal was no longer perfect.

I tried to fix it, but the damage was done. In my quest for perfection, I had destroyed the very object that just a few hours before had brought me so much happiness and excitement. This idea of perfectionism and the notion that if it wasn’t perfect it didn’t deserve to exist would follow me for many years to come, and many more journals fell to this misguided idea.

But it wasn’t just journals, I threw away photos I had taken, stories I had written, song recordings I had done, and so much more. If I couldn’t be “perfect” in a certain class, I would just stop trying. If I couldn’t be perfect at a new skill I just wouldn’t learn.

Over and over again I would lose out on so many things because in my mind anything that wasn’t perfect didn’t deserve to exist.

Thankfully, I eventually learned that I was wrong and that perfectionism is nothing worth striving for. Perfectionism is a myth. A myth that doesn’t really exist. No one can achieve perfectionism, in any aspect of their life or talent. And while it may look like people can, from the outside looking in, there is always room for people to grow.

The trick is to abandon the idea that you need to be perfect in anything and instead embrace the chaos that is this life. Life is messy, disorganized, chaotic, and so much more, but it is within that very chaos that real beauty, real art, and real impact actually live.

So to whoever is reading this… in regards to whatever you are trying to be perfect at, regardless of if it is just living life like being a good parent, child, teacher, or student or a form of art like photography, painting, writing, makeup, acting, and more, or a discipline like academia, science, mathematics, etc. Remember this…

Perfectionism has destroyed more good things than it has ever created. Embrace the chaos. You deserve to exist.

Embracing the Journey

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

As an artist, I believe that it’s essential to revisit your old creations and compare them with your current ones. In this world, we have a lot of talented people who may not always see the value in their work. They might even think that their creations are terrible, worthless, or not good enough. Despite this, they keep trying, keep practicing, and keep sharing their work. This kind of perseverance is bravery in action.

I recall a few years ago when I received an invitation to visit a local video game bar in Orlando, FL. They were hosting a Star Wars Day celebration and had encouraged everyone to attend dressed up in their best Star Wars costumes. As a photographer, I arrived there eager to capture some amazing photos of the attendees carrying light sabers.

Once I got back home, I edited the photos using the skills I had acquired up until that point. The outcome of my effort was not terrible, but it was clear that there were a lot of mistakes and things that I could have done better. However, I choose to look at those photos as a stepping stone to where I am today, and not as a source of self-criticism.

Admittedly, many people scrutinize their past work every day and berate themselves for not doing better. But, for me, it’s important to acknowledge that my past work was a vital part of my learning journey that brought me to where I am today. I am proud of the fact that I took those photos and used all the skills that I had at the time. And, more importantly, I was willing to keep learning and acquiring new skills as time went on to continue improving.

If I hadn’t continued to learn, I would not have been able to take and edit the stunning photos that I took of my wife this year on Star Wars Day. These pictures are a testament to the progress that I have made as a photographer and artist. And, for that, I choose to celebrate my past work instead of belittling it.

42 Bits of Wisdom: Lessons I’ve Learned on My 42nd Birthday

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I am celebrating my 42nd birthday today, and like many others I know, I don’t feel my age. Despite feeling much younger, the fact remains that I have lived on this planet for 42 years and have seen and experienced a lot. Although I don’t consider myself an expert in life, I have picked up some truths during my time here. So, on this special day, I’d like to share with you a few bits of knowledge that I have acquired throughout my life.

Holding a grudge is a foolish practice. I grew up in a family that was notorious for holding grudges as a means of punishment, but I eventually learned that holding a grudge is like holding a hot coal in the palm of your hand and expecting to burn someone else.

Politics, religion, and family are subjects that make people blind, and no matter how compelling your argument may be, you will never win a fight about them. It is better to let it go, move on, and allow others to live in their own beliefs.

The family you choose is more important than the family you were born into. Additionally, you should never make fun of someone if they haven’t seen/heard/watched something. Furthermore, you shouldn’t feel guilty about things that bring you joy, even if they may be perceived as “geeky” or “uncool” by others. If your friends make fun of you for something you enjoy, they are not your real friends.

You should not trust tradition or the status quo blindly. It’s often not the right path to follow. Instead, choose your own path, even if it’s unconventional.

It’s crucial to go to therapy.

Honesty is always the best policy. Too many lies are told out of fear, and if you can’t trust the people around you with the truth, then they shouldn’t be in your life.

Most people should not get married before the age of 30. Furthermore, you don’t need a fancy wedding day to signify your love for someone; it’s the relationship that matters, not the wedding.

Taking lots of pictures and videos is essential to preserve memories. Similarly, telling the people in your life that you love them often is crucial.

Many of the “great” things in this world are overrated. Instead, define your own “great.”

Writing letters and thank you notes to people can make their day.

Imposter syndrome, anxiety, and depression can’t speak the truth; they only speak fear.

It’s okay to have a messy house; who cares if someone sees it or judges you for it? If someone judges you for having a messy house, they don’t need to be in your life.

Don’t live your life for other people. Instead, buy what brings you joy, dress in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable, and live your life for you.

Nobody cares about the things you’re bragging about; they may even resent you for it. It’s better to keep your wins and losses private because you don’t know how others will react.

Never stop learning.

It’s essential to learn to be comfortable with being bad at something new. Many of us were raised with the idea that we must be good at everything we do, but it’s okay to be bad at something when we’re learning.

Make sleep a priority. It’s important for your physical and mental health.

Staying hydrated is crucial. Drinking enough water can do wonders for your body.

Always return your shopping cart. There’s simply no excuse for leaving it in the parking lot. It’s a small act of kindness that can make a big difference.

Don’t fall for the allure of fame. It’s often an illusion and doesn’t bring true happiness.

Give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished in life. Celebrate the victories and challenges you’ve overcome.

Music is a gift that can inspire and heal. Take time to appreciate its beauty and power.

Mental health issues like ADHD, depression, and anxiety are real and should be openly discussed and supported.

It’s okay to have a collection of unread books. The joy of collecting and owning books is often enough.

Trying to please everyone is impossible. Focus on being true to yourself and your values.

Many companies and corporations exploit their customers. Be aware of their practices and hold them accountable.

Don’t expect your job to care about you as a person. In many cases, you’re replaceable. Companies that claim to be like family should be approached with caution.

Be wary of the police and always have a lawyer present when speaking with them. Protect your rights and interests.

The world is imperfect and unfair. Learning to forgive and finding inner peace can help navigate life’s challenges.

Learn to distinguish between intuition and fear. Trusting your instincts can be a powerful tool.

Sex is often portrayed as more important than it really is. It’s not the only or most significant aspect of relationships.

Women should have autonomy over their own bodies and choices. Society should respect and support them.

LGBTQ+ people deserve the same rights and opportunities as anyone else. Discrimination has no place in our society.

Coke is superior to Pepsi. It’s a matter of personal taste, but let’s be honest – Coke is the real deal.

Chips and salsa is the ultimate comfort food. It’s hard to resist the satisfying crunch and tangy flavor.

Remember that you matter. Your existence and contributions have value and significance.

Age is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. Embrace the wisdom and opportunities that come with it.