Mental Health

3 Book Series EVERY Man Should Read

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

Growing up, we are often bombarded with societal expectations of what it means to be a “real” man. We are told to be strong, stoic, and always have it together. I myself grew up being told over and over again “When I was a child I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.” The first time I can remember my Father telling me that was shortly after I turned 8 years old. But let’s face it, life is messy, and sometimes we need to let loose and have some fun.

When I was younger, I had this idea that being a man meant I had to be serious all the time. I thought I had to let go of my childhood hobbies and interests and focus on “mature” activities. But the truth is, being a man is not about conforming to outdated stereotypes or what society thinks we should be. It’s about being true to ourselves and embracing the things that make us happy.

For me, that meant embracing my inner geek and diving back into my love for Dungeons and Dragons. It also meant allowing myself to indulge in my favorite movies and books, no matter how silly or childish they may seem to others. And you know what? It felt good. It reminded me that being an adult doesn’t mean we have to give up the things we love.

So, to all the men out there who feel like they have to conform to society’s expectations, I urge you to let go of those notions and embrace the things that make you happy. Whether it’s playing video games, reading comic books, or watching cheesy rom-coms, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to live it according to someone else’s standards.

And on that note, here are a few book recommendations that I believe every man (or anyone, really) should read:

  1. Old Man’s War by John Scalzi – This science fiction novel explores a future where humanity has colonized the stars and follows protagonist John Perry as he joins the military at the age of 75 to fight for the future of the human race.
  2. The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher – As you mentioned, this urban fantasy series follows Harry Dresden, a professional wizard and private investigator in Chicago. The series is action-packed, full of humor, and will keep you on the edge of your seat.
  3. The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne – This fantasy series follows the adventures of Atticus O’Sullivan, the last of the Druids, as he navigates through supernatural dangers and encounters gods, goddesses, and other mythical beings.

Remember, reading is a personal and subjective experience. Don’t let anyone tell you what books you should or should not read. Instead, focus on finding books that you enjoy and that make you happy.

Ultimately, I learned that being a man is not about adhering to rigid stereotypes or societal expectations. It’s about being true to yourself and embracing the things that make you happy, even if they involve wizards, dragons, or spaceships. And let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to ride a dragon into battle or blast off into the galaxy with a motley crew of misfits? So go ahead, embrace your inner geek, and revel in the wonder of fiction and fantasy. After all, life is too short to take ourselves too seriously!

Why I Keep Seeking Approval from People Who Don’t Give Me the Time of Day: A Personal Journey

/ Adam Scott / 1 Comment

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I put myself through the emotional wringer of seeking the approval of someone who clearly couldn’t care less about me? I mean, seriously, why do we as human beings feel the need to seek validation from people who don’t give us even the smallest bit of effort? It’s a mystery that has plagued me for far too long.

So, I was recently hired to take photos of a product that I’ve been using since I was 15. I was thrilled about the opportunity, thinking that this would be the moment that this person would finally take notice of me and be proud of me. Yeah, I know, I should have known better. But did I listen to that little voice in my head? Of course not. I went ahead and sent this person a sample of my photos, hoping for a response, a reaction, anything. And what did I get? Absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. It was like I was sending my photos into the void.

But, you know what they say, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, here I am, once again, feeling like a complete moron for seeking the approval of someone who has shown me time and time again that they don’t care. It’s like I can’t help myself.

Why do we as human beings put so much importance on the opinions of people who don’t make an effort in our lives? It’s time to take a step back and ask ourselves what’s really going on here. Our worth and value as individuals come from within, not from the validation of others. So, let’s stop setting ourselves up for disappointment and start focusing on our own self-esteem.

Seeking approval from others is a natural part of being human, but it’s important to understand that our worth doesn’t depend on the validation of others. We must focus on our own self-esteem and recognize that we are valuable and deserving of love and respect, regardless of the opinions of others. And if all else fails, we can always fall back on sarcasm to help us get through the tough times. Because, let’s be real, sometimes sarcasm is the only thing that gets us through life.

A self-portrait – This painting was hanging in The Orlando Museum of Art and I was drawn to it.

2023: A New Year Full of Hope and Possibility

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I felt this hopeful about a new year. Over the years, life has thrown its fair share of challenges my way, from financial stress to divorce and moving. But this year, something felt different. As I entered 2023, I felt a renewed sense of optimism and hope for what was to come.

I don’t want to jinx it, but January was a pretty good month for me. Although there were certainly some tough moments, overall, it was a positive start to the new year. One of the biggest highlights was having two big clients pay their invoices in full and on time. This was a big win for me, as it provided a financial boost and a sense of stability that I haven’t felt in a while.

In addition to the financial stability, my work queue is also filled with exciting new opportunities. I’ve been asked to do product photography for some fantastic companies, and before the day had even finished, I had already booked another client for double my standard rate. It’s clear that 2023 is off to a good start, and I’m feeling confident about the year ahead.

For many years, my word for the year has been “peace.” This is the first year in a long time that I feel like I’m finally closing in on that goal. The financial stability and new work opportunities have provided a sense of peace and calm that I haven’t felt in a while. I’m no longer worrying about how I’m going to pay the bills or where my next job is coming from. Instead, I’m focusing on the present moment and all the exciting things that the future holds.

Of course, I’m realistic enough to know that 2023 won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. There will certainly be tough moments, and there will be times when I feel overwhelmed and stressed. But I’m approaching the year with a sense of hope and positivity that I haven’t felt in a while. I’m ready to tackle the challenges that come my way and embrace the opportunities that the year presents.

So, here’s to a new year filled with hope, adventure, and peace. Let’s see what 2023 has in store! I’m excited to see what the future holds, and I’m confident that this will be a year to remember.

Mental Health Exercises For Photographers

/ Adam Scott / Leave a comment

Yesterday I talked about how photography helped me with my own personal mental health. Today I would like to talk about specific ideas and exercises one might do, as a photographer, to improve their own mental health. Now, before we get started let me be clear, these are just suggestions, not law. The difference between an idea and law is that ideas are moldable. They can be changed, evolved, improved upon, and made better. So I encourage all of you reading to take my ideas and make them your own. I would even love to hear about how you have improved on these ideas on my Patreon, Twitter, Instagram, or Vero. So without further ado here are some mental health exercises for photographers.

Go On A Photo Walk-About

The first time I ever heard the term walk-about was watching the movie, Crocodile Dundee. The main character explained that it was a time to just walk around and think. No real direction or destination. You just kind of go where your feet take you. Going on a photography walk-about is not much different. You just pick a place and walk, camera in hand, and take pictures as you go. Some of my favorite walkabouts were in Cleaveland OH while there on a work trip, a local nature trail here in Orlando, and weirdly enough Disneyland. Some of my best photos ever taken have come from walkabouts, and I always feel a little better afterward both mentally and physically.

Work Through You Emotions With Self Portraits

In 2019 I decided to start taking self-portraits. I did this because I did not have a lot of good photos of myself, and I wanted some, and there were things I wanted to express that I thought I could through self-portrait photography. After I had created my first 5 or 6 self-portraits a friend told me something that I will never forget. She said that while the photos were good they lacked depth, emotion, and vulnerability, and that is what she wanted to see. So I sat down and wrote out some emotions that I have always struggled with. Emotions that I often tried to hide, but occasionally bubbled up to the surface in unhealthy ways, and decide to take a photo of those emotions. The one that really stuck with me was the photos I took of anger. Taking the photo and talking on Instagram about how anger had affected my life in the past brought a great deal of peace and closure to me. It helped me to see things about myself I had not seen before and helped me gain even greater control, in a healthy way, over my emotions.

Learn To See Art In The Ordinary and Mundane

There is this idea that we only see a small percentage of the world around us. We are bombarded by so many things that our brains can only process so much, otherwise, we would get overwhelmed and die. Because of that filter, we have on the world we often overlook or miss small things that carry great beauty. A few months ago I started taking the time to find those small items that we often overlook and turn them into beautiful works of art with nothing more than my camera and a bit of light editing. My favorite image that I have created in this endeavor so far is the one below. My wife had been doing some arts and crafts earlier and had left some colored pencils on our coffee table. I gathered up the pencils and put them inside a shot glass so they would all be held together. Using a chair I took a photo of them from overhead and this image turned into one of my most liked photos on any social media platform I am currently on. Art…made from the most simple object…a pencil.

I hope you enjoyed these mental health exercises for photographers. These are a few ideas I employ to help my mental health and I have found them helpful. What are some ways that you have used photography for your mental health? I’d love to hear! In the meantime make sure you are signed up for my newsletter where I share things that are newsletter exclusive. For example this week I will be sharing 3 great tips to take great photos with your phone!

Till next time – Keep taking great photos.

Can Photography Help Mental Health

/ Adam Scott / 3 Comments

I always thought it a weird joke the universe was playing on me when I think back on the worst day of my life. It was April 1, 2009 (April Fools Day), and I was planning to kill myself.

I have struggled with mental health most of my life. Growing up I never really felt safe. School was honestly a form of cruel and unusual torture as I was plagued by both students and teachers for most of my grade school and middle school career. And while some people had the blessing of being able to go home and find peace I was not graced with that option. Home was a place of violent emotional outbursts, unrealistic expectations, dishonesty, and religious brainwashing. So when I tell you I grew up in survival mode you can at least have a vague understanding.

When someone grows up in survival mode it’s extremely difficult for them to be present in the moment. Their brains are operating at 110% all the time analyzing every interaction, motion, word, and phrase. Looking for dangers, and planning out how they will react when the inevitable danger appears. It is an exhausting way to live, and one of the most difficult trauma responses to unlearn.

I carried much of this flight or fight hyper-vigilance into adulthood and I will be honest it ruined a lot of relationships, friendships, and opportunities. So when my world came crashing down around me on April 1, 2009 I thought I was done. I was tired, exhausted, and just didn’t see a way out. More importantly, I just didn’t want to live like that anymore. So I pulled out my gun, loaded it, and decided to have one last night before the end. I ordered my favorite Chinese food (sesame chicken with fried rice & a coke), cleaned up my apartment (no idea why), and decided to listen to some music. Now at the time, I had a 500-disc CD player, and it was fully loaded with CDs from 500 different artists. I picked up the remote and hit shuffle…what happened next will forever be one of the biggest surprises of my life!

This is the bullet that was supposed to take me out in 2009. I have carried it as a reminder of that night ever since.

Suicide rates are something no one really talks about. Out of 100,000 people, 13 will commit suicide. That comes out to 130 suicides per day and men have 69.98% of that statistic. Now that is just how many succeed in committing suicide. In 2020 there were 1.2 million REPORTED attempts, and we can assume that that number is higher because not everyone reports their attempt.

I never reported mine, in fact, I didn’t talk about it or tell anyone about it for years. It took me a while to come to grips with what happened. How it happened, and why it happened. Why me?

So there I was, sitting on the couch, eating sesame chicken and sipping on a coke. I had just hit shuffle on my CD player and the VERY FIRST song to come on was a song called Birthday by The Cruxshadows. Now I won’t quote the entire song to you, but I will quote the lyrics that hit me like a ton of bricks…

“So look at your life
Who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life
And what do you want to do?
Look at your life
Who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life
You haven’t got forever”

— The Cruxshadows

I heard those lyrics and realized I did not want this to be my last night on earth. I wanted more, and to live a better life. So I unloaded my gun and put it away.

Now I wish I could tell you that the next day I woke up a changed man…I didn’t. I wish I could tell you the next day was better…It wasn’t…in fact, it was worse. But I knew I wanted to get better, and I had a long journey in front of me. I started going to therapy, reading good books, and making changes in my life. It did not happen all at once. It did not even happen quickly. But eventually, those small changes had a compound effect and my life started to improve.

One of the changes that came into my life a few years later was photography. Social media had introduced me to so many beautiful and stunning images online, and I desperately wanted to create beautiful images myself. I had no idea how, or what I was doing, but photography had sparked something inside me. A fire that was never going to go out. I started taking pictures of anything and everything. Some were good, most were ok, and a few were really bad. But I didn’t care. Picking up a camera was a near meditative experience for me.

See when you grow up in survival mode, and eventually, learn to live in survival mode your brain never stops running. It moves at the speed of a supercomputer always looking for danger and popping out ideas of how to deal with that imagined danger. But when I put a camera in my hand my brain stopped looking for dangers. It took a break and for the first time in my entire life, I could be present 100% in the moment. No what ifs. Just me, my camera, and whatever I was shooting.

After living a lifetime in survival mode this reprieve from my brain was/is an experience I have difficulty describing. I remember trying to explain this to my best friend once and saying “Is this how normal people live?! Because if so they have no idea how wonderful their lives are!!”

So can photography help people suffering from mental health? Yes! It has not only given me a haven to help ease my troubled mind but has allowed me the opportunity to express difficult emotions that I could never express before.

I will never understand what happened that night on April 1, 2009. Why out of all those CDs did the machine pick that one CD and that one song? Was it a higher power? If so why me?

I will probably never know the answers to those questions, but what I do know is I am grateful I did not pull the trigger that night. I am grateful I eventually discovered photography, and I am grateful I now get to create beautiful images and share them…Just like I wanted to so many years ago.