Yesterday, without warning or any signs, my beautiful dog Cordelia suffered a seizure. It happened sometime after 10am, and I noticed it when I got up to let her outside for the second time that morning. She had lost all balance, couldn’t really walk, and when I did get her outside she started having convulsions and threw up. I didn’t know what to do, which is weird because I have been trained in emergency management in past jobs and positions. Usually, I am the one calm during a crisis, but not on this day.

Cordelia came into my life almost 10 years ago. By every fact I had no right owning a dog at the time. I was an absolute wreck of a human being. I was going through a terrible divorce, I had almost no money to my name, and I was emotionally all over the place. But I was living in a house that was 1800 square feet all by myself and I was very lonely.

One morning I saw a Craigslist ad with a few pictures of Cordelia. The ad read that she was free to the 1st male she liked. Given that, at the time I couldn’t afford adoption fees a free dog sounded great. So I got in my car and started to drive, but with each passing mile this little voice in my head started telling me what a terrible idea this was. At one point I even pulled over to the side of the road, and debated turning around, but I didn’t.

When I got there her current owners opened the door of their home and out trotted Cordelia. She ran down the steps and I still remember her running down the dirt driveway to meet me. Her current owners told me how two other males had come before myself, and Cordelia wanted nothing to do with them, but she clearly liked me so she was mine. They never really explained why they were getting rid of her, other then to say that they didn’t have the time to care for her because of their children.

So I coaxed Cordelia into my car and we drove home. That was the day she became mine.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had no idea the impact Cordelia would have on my life. Before Cordelia I was in a pretty dark place. I wasn’t eating, and pretty much slept all day. Over the course of a few weeks I had lost 20lbs just due to not eating anything. But now I had this little fur ball to take care of. In the mornings she would jump on me to wake me up and tell me it was time to go outside. She accompanied me to Geek and Gamer Fitness, my gym, and would lay comfortably in one corner or another while I taught group classes. She was mine and she was rarely far away from me.

Eventually my time in WA came to a close and Cordelia and I packed up all our things and moved to sunny southern CA, but when we got there things did not feel right, so when the opportunity to go on a month long road trip popped up she and I packed a bag, jumped into the car and headed out to explore. We hit up Mammoth, Bear Mountain, The Grand Tetons, Yosemite, Moab, and even Vegas. We hiked up mountains, splashed through rivers, and slept out under the stars with a fire going. It was absolutely perfect.

Eventually, however, we had to return back to the real world. I was out of money, again, and so I needed to get back and earn some money so the two of us could eat. I took some weird jobs here and there, but no matter what I did, every night when I came home from work she would be there to greet me with her big tail wagging.

After awhile one of those jobs asked me to move to FL, and I took the opportunity. Cordelia and I packed up what I had, which wasn’t much at the time. 9 boxes of books, 2 trash bags of clothes, a mattress, and a couple nick knacks and assorted keep sakes. It wasn’t anything anyone would be impressed with, but we hit the road and drove cross country till we reached Jacksonville FL.

The job I had taken in Jacksonville turned out to be kind of a scam, and the apartment we were living in was not in the greatest neighborhood, but some of my favorite memories are in that tiny little bedroom, with Cordelia on the bed laying next to me while I read one of my many books. It was just me and her…until it wasn’t.

I don’t think either one of us expected what happened next, but suddenly there was Leslie. She didn’t care that I was a messed up, emotionally fragile, broke, man. She saw a cute guy that she liked, and a beautiful puppy that she immediately loved. She didn’t ask anything of either one of us. She loved us as we were, even when we were homeless, penniless, and damaged she loved us. Leslie brought us into her life, and introduced us to her parents, Edna & Ruban, and they too didn’t care about any of our flaws. They saw two souls who had each other, and just wanted to be a part of their lives.

One Christmas we were visiting Edna & Ruban and Edna had decorated for the holidays. This meant that she had several nativity sets spread out all over the house, including the living room table. Now Cordelia loved Edna and Ruban and this meant that her tail was wagging. He big giant fluffy tail that had a mind of it’s own, and before anyone could stop it her tail hit one of Ednas nativity sets and it crashed to the floor and broke. I was mortified, as was Leslie, Cordelia had no idea what happened, and was just confused why no one was petting her. Edna being the woman she is told us not to worry. She swept up the broken pieces, hugged both myself and Cordelia and told us that we were more important then any decoration.

We had found our family. People who loved us and cared for us regardless of our past, our mistakes, and our flaws.

Over the years Edna and Ruban have taken in and cared for Cordelia when Leslie and I were out of town. They loved her as her own, and were always willing and excited to take care of her and see her. They will never know how much their love has meant over the years.

In 2019 Leslie and I decided to get married in a small ceremony here in Orlando. We invited only our immediate family and a few close personal friends. As was right and fitting Cordelia was our Flower Girl, and we had even made a small flower ring for her to wear. During the ceremony we asked our friends Chad and Carrie to hold Cordelia while we got married, but Cordelia was not happy about this. She made it very clear that she was going to stand up there, together with her people, and no one was going to stop her. So there we were…What started out as just me, and then Cordelia, suddenly became three. We were a family. We were whole.

Leslie and I have so many memories of Cordelia. Most of the photos on our phones are of her, and we have enjoyed every single moment we got to spend with her. She was loved by so many people and she happily accepted pets from anyone who was willing to offer them to her. She has been one of the best things that has ever come into my life, and I can honestly say that she saved me. She loved me when I was absolutely unlovable, and she didn’t care. I was hers, and she protected me.

When the time came it was swift, sudden, and unexpected. Leslie and I held her close and told her how much we loved her as the drugs took effect and she crossed over.

Now me, personally, I am not sure if I believe in any kind of afterlife, but I remember a story of a man who lost his dog to death. After his dogs death there was a hole left in his heart that was never really ever filled, and he carried that hole with him for the rest of his life. When the man finally died and crossed over to the other side he was greeted by an angel who smiled and said that he was glad the man was finally there, because someone had been waiting for him, and with that the man looked up and saw his dog running towards him. After so long apart they were finally together again and the hole in his heart was filled.

If there is an afterlife, I really hope that Cordelia will be there waiting for me on the other side. She has left a hole in the hearts of me and Leslie that I don’t think will ever be able to be filled, but maybe, just maybe someday, Leslie and I can see her running towards us after a long time waiting.

I miss you girl, and I hope you know how much I loved you. Thank you for saving me.

Grace Trying To Sleep

Grace decided to join me in my office while I worked today. I decided to bug her, and take a picture of her while she is trying to sleep.

A VERY Full House

I remember as a child watching Full House, and thinking to myself there are a lot of people in that very tiny house. The house seemed to go on forever with (from the top down) having a full size finished attic, upstairs with at least 4 bedrooms, a main floor with living, dinning, and kitchen areas, a garage, and full size finished basement. I was amazed at how comfortable everyone seemed living there. Well that was TV.

Today I find myself in somewhat of the same circumstances as Full House. A friend of ours moved in on Sunday, and we are happy to have her staying with us. She brings with her a wonderful four legged pitbull named Zurg. So the total count for the house is 3 adults, 2 dogs, two birds, and a cat. The dogs are getting along fairly normal, and the birds are loud as always. But overall we are in a good christmas spirit (even though Christmas is over), and looking forward to having our friend staying with us.

Our New House Guest

You have no idea how hard this picture was to take. This is Soesha. She belongs to our friend Corinne. Corinne is currently in Florida at Disney World. She asked Terra and I to watch Soesha till December 12. Now this really isnt a bad thing, and Soesha is an adorable dog, but there are a few things that I didnt expect.

1. Grace is doing her usual I am the Queen of the house and try to assert her dominance by puffing her chest out, and walking in a manly, yet dainty, fashion.
2. Grace like to bark. Soesha likes to bark. Fred (bird number one) likes to squawk, and Peanut (bird number two) also likes to squawk. When someone comes to the door and rings the door bell, all hell breaks loose in our house as every animal in our home starts to make noise as loud as they can.
3. Soesha is a VERY small dog. Spock (our cat) is bigger then she is! I am not kidding! I now have to watch where I step as there might be a small animal under my large feet.

However despit all the noise, and small things under feet Soesha has been a wonderful house guest.

Oh and I meant to tell you how hard that picture was to take. I took a total of 15 pictures, and every time the camera timer would click Soesha would look away. It took Terra holding food in front of the camera, and me holding her to get that picture. I hope you are all happy. I did it for you readers!

Help Us Name Our Dog

Close to our house is a very nice animal shelter that Terra and I have visited every saturday for the last couple months. Both of us have wanted to get a new dog, and have been disappointed by not being able to find that perfect dog for us. There were several times that one of us liked a dog, but not the other, a few times we both liked a dog, but the dog didn’t like cats, and then once or twice we both liked a dog, but it was too big.

On Christmas Eve I decided to stop into the shelter to have a look around, and I saw the dog in my pictures. She was perfect! She liked toys, didn’t want anything to do with cats, was close to the right weight, and was a beautiful dog. I liked her so much that I put a hold on her right away. I called Terra and told her she needed to drop what she was doing and come to the shelter. Terra too liked the dog, and after some trouble with our apartment complex we brought her home today.

Now here is the problem. What do we name her? Below are some choices we have come up with. Vote by posting a comment either on this blog in the comments section, on facebook, or on twitter. We will tally the results and our dog will be named.

1. Goldie
2. Kess
3. Kira
4. Uhura
5. Seven of Nine (Seven for short)
6. B’Elanna

Some of these shots were hard to get she hasnt stopped moving since she got home.