Why We Love Old Things

A few years ago my mother gifted all of her children with a flash drive of all our old family photos. Over the years I have had a bitter-sweet relationship with those photos. Sometimes I can look at them and it brings back forgotten happy memories, but more often than naught it brings back reminders of just how unhappy I was during a certain time and I was trying desperately to mask. Despite all of this I keep going back, keep looking at these images, and keep remembering. Why? Because I have a theory on why we love old things.

I think I was 17 in this picture. I was about to graduate from HS and I had no idea what I was about to do with my life. I was terrified.

When you were a kid did you ever like something? Could have been a band, a movie, or maybe even a book…then one day you shared that like with a group of “friends” and they made fun of you for liking that thing. Has that ever happened to you? What happened after that happened? Did you go on liking that thing, but in secret? Did you put the movie, CD, or book into a box and hide it away in some dark closet? Did you stop wearing that band’s t-shirt? Did you stop playing D&D?

Maybe none of these things happened…Maybe you were just interested in a subject and wanted to learn more about it, but never did because it was perceived as unpopular or uncool to participate in such things. So you didn’t…right?

This kind of thing happened A LOT to a lot of kids. From the moment I turned 8 years old my father’s favorite quote, that he recited to me over and over was “When I was a child I thought as a child and acted as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.” So as I grew up I always felt guilty for liking certain things…bands, comics, POGs, cartoons, movies, etc…because I was constantly told either by family members or friends that I shouldn’t like those things. So even though I wanted to…I didn’t.

At some point in my mid 20’s, I actually convinced myself to throw away a large collection of movies, music, and comics that I had accumulated over the years because I thought it was time for me to be an adult and “put away childish things”. I hate that I ever felt that way about myself and my interests because I lost out on so many years that I could have enjoyed those things.

Why do we love old things? Because we were never allowed to enjoy them safely when we were younger, and now that we are older, we have come to understand that people’s opinions of us matter less, that our time is short here on earth, and we gave ourselves permission to like and participate in whatever we want without judgment from ourselves.

We can play D&D without having to find excuses for why we play D&D, and just enjoy the company of good friends and a good story game. We can read comics for no other reason than because we like the artwork and enjoy the plot. You can watch a cartoon or TV show without guilt because the characters make you feel comfortable and safe.

My favorite D&D Dice

See the whole idea of “when I became a man I put away childish things” is wrong. I think The Doctor said it best when he said “There’s no point being grown-up if you can’t be childish sometimes..”

So go like what you like. If someone doesn’t like it ignore them. It is your life, not theirs. If they want to live their life without, let them! Just because they do it doesn’t mean you have to. So go out and enjoy all the things you were not able to enjoy when you were a child.

Thanks for stopping by. I would love to hear what you think about all this. Feel free to leave a comment or reach out on Instagram, Twitter, Patreon, or Vero.

A Killer & The Dead

I have loved films and movies most of my life. Back before the age of streaming collecting movies and watching the DVD extras was a big favorite pastime of mine, and I always dreamed of being involved in films. So you can imagine my delight when I was invited by Austin Janowsky to serve as a BTS photographer on the set of his latest movie A Killer & The Dead.

For anyone who has never looked into how films are made…It is an extensive project requiring the creative talents of so many people. When people talk about giving their blood sweat and tears into a movie they are seldom exaggerating and most likely being literal.

The success of any such project is determined by the commitment and dedication of the entire team, and this past week saw a group of humans come together and work together perfectly. Were there setbacks? Yes. Were they overcome? Also yes.

So stay tuned for more news and details of this upcoming movie A Killer & the Dead.

Severus Snape and the Marauders – Harry Potter Fan Film

If you have not seen this Harry Potter fan film yet, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH IT!

I have always been fascinated by origin stories, and the choices people made, the situations they endured, and the trials they faced, that made them the person they are and would become.

The truth is, personally, I have always been drawn to darker characters.  Villains in general fascinate me.

I think there is darkness in almost everyone, but what makes a person choose to embrace that darkness?  Why would they give over to it?  What benefit does a person or character get from it?

I have toyed with the idea from time to time of writing a story of Voldemort’s son.  I want to write a story of him not only accepting the darkness within himself, but learning to control it, and use it in the service of good.

I think there is beauty in darkness.  Certainly there is power.  But without control that power can consume and obliviate (pardon the pun) the person itself.

What do you think?  Who is your favorite villain?  What are your theories on what drove them to embrace the darkness within?

Humanities Extinction

It has been awhile since Hollywood has come out with a really good “end of the world” type movie.  Come to think of it, the last ones I can remember came out when I was still in high school.  Movies like Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow, and Independence Day come to mind.

I would venture a guess that most human beings don’t think about the end of the world. Like death, I think we all know it will happen someday, but choose not to think about it. A problem for future generations to deal with.

The end may be sooner then you think, and worse it doesn’t look like the end of humanity will come by asteroid, alien invasion, or deadly storm.  The end, it seems, will come at the hands of humanity itself.

6975466-end-of-the-worldIn a recent interview Stephen Hawking theorizes that 1,000 years may be all humanity has left.  He warns that with advances in science & technology bring with it “new ways that things can go wrong.”

I am inclined to believe Hawking, but maybe for different reasons.  Humanity is becoming increasingly distracted to the realities of what is going on around them.  Social media, TV, and cell phones have lowered our attention spans significantly.  Obesity is at an all time high, and our schools and educational systems are eliminating the very things that make life worth living such as music, art, photography, theater, and more.

If humanity was to be wiped out tomorrow how would we want our species to be remembered?  If we only have 1,000 years left we should focus on more important things besides how many Facebook friends we have, or how many “likes” we got on our last Instagram photo.

Life is to be lived, felt, believed, and remembered.  If humanity only has 1,000 years left I hope we make those years ones of great significance and importance.  And I truly hope, before the end, that we can put our differences behind us, and come together as one species united.

The New Suicide Squad Trail Is KICK ASS!

If you are any kind of Geek you are aware that Suicide Squad will be hitting theaters on August 5, 2016.  Till then enjoy this new trailer.  Cheers.


Cast: Jared Leto, Will Smith, Cara Delevingne, Jai Courtney, Margot Robbie, Viola Davis, Joel Kinnaman
Director: David Ayer
Release Date: August 5, 2016

Its Hard To Be A Nerd Girl


111. Its a Good Night

Tonight I usually am playing Shadowrun with my friends. Due to certain circumstances, and timing no one showed up on time for the game. KC, Kai, Corinne, and I decided to come over to my house, and watch movies. Corrine mentioned that she had never seen Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. I dont know how that is possible, but somehow she has made it 30 years without ever seeing such perfection in humor. So we popped in the DVD, and started watching such great scenes like The Black Knight, The Castle Anthrax, The Witch, and The Coconuts. I have seen this movie so may times, and know that if I had to I could probably quote the movie from start to finish with surprising accuracy.

While I may not be playing Shadowrun I am here with friends, watching a great movie, and Grace is cuddled up next to me. Life is good!