Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome

Yesterday, I was reading through some Substack articles, and came across this one, by Olivia.

Psychological pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”

I wish I could say that I’m immune to imposter syndrome. I’m not.  I wouldn’t say its a constant fear or companion, but every few months, I’ll look at the body of my work as a photographer and artist, and simply want to burn all of it in flame.  For a brief moment, I’ll be certain that nothing I have ever created matters, that others are greater than in every way, when compared against me, and that I should just give up and never pick up a camera again.

These feelings, while intense, are usually brief.  Only lasting a day, at most.  I will usually wake up the next day feeling pretty good about my talent, ability, skill, and overall body of work.  But, when I am in the middle of feeling doubt, it’s a heavy emotion to live through.

Recently though, I have approached my art, photography, skill, and ability a little differently.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been consuming a lot of art work from the renaissance period.  Artists, sculptors, painters, and more.  So many of them creating beautiful works of art, some at a very young age.  When I think of how little time they had to learn, practice, fail, and then try again, in order to achieve and create some of the worlds most beautiful works of art is staggering.  It makes my own 10 years or so, as a photographer, seem…lengthy by comparison.

What also stands out to me is how many of the artists of the past thought they were utter and complete failures. Vincent van Gogh is a good example of both an artist who achieved greatness at a young age, and an artist who, for several reasons, thought he was a failure.  It’s hard, for many of us, to look at his work, and understand why he thought he was such a miserable mess, but he did.

If Vincent van Gogh, despite his obvious talent and skill, thought he was no good, what hope is there for the rest of us?  Might be the question some of us would ask.  But, I think we need to look at it from a different angle, and ask a different question.

If, Vincent van Gogh thought he was a failure, despite his obvious talent and skill, is that not proof that imposter syndrome is nothing but a lie?  And, if imposter syndrome is a lie, which it usually is, does that mean that we should all start radically becoming our biggest fans?  Put the doubt aside, because it has only limited us, and instead choose to have absolute faith in ourselves, our abilities, our talent, and skill.

True, some people might find this attitude crazy, maybe even arrogant.  Yes, they might try to belittle us for our enthusiasm and self-esteem.  But, I have never really seen why their opinions matter.  If someone, regardless of who they are, or their relationship to you, tries to tear you down, they are, by default, not worthy of being in your life.  So allow them their misguided opinions and move on.

So many of us have magic inside of us, and we share that magic through our respective forms of art.  Sadly though, many people, who have no magic of their own, try to dim the light of those that wield it.

So yes, imposter syndrome is a real thing that many of us struggle with, but, we are made of stardust, and hold galaxies inside our very bones.  So the next time imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, let us remember that it does not speak truth, only lies.