Navigating a whirlwind of emotions, I find myself pondering a common quandary: why do so many gifted and genuinely good individuals grapple with doubt regarding the significance of their creative endeavors? Does our art truly resonate with someone’s soul? Is it, indeed, beautiful? The haunting story of Vincent Van Gogh, who departed this world convinced of his own failure, echoes in my thoughts. I can’t help but wonder how many other creatives share a similar struggle at this very moment—talented souls wrestling with self-doubt, their worth unnoticed.
Today, during my explorations, I stumbled upon a portrait studio unfamiliar to me. Intrigued, I ventured inside to meet its youthful owner—an entrepreneur running a successful franchise, with his work adorning Times Square. While genuinely celebrating his achievements, a question lingers: when will my moment of triumph arrive?
I’ve shared this tale before, but the roots of my love for photography trace back to high school, where I cherished moments with my father’s vintage Canon 35mm film camera. However, my journey into photography remained dormant for years, likely stifled by the expectations of the religious upbringing that guided my early life. The prescribed path was clear: grow up, embark on a mission, return, marry, have kids, and serve the church. Creative pursuits were not championed as enduring skills.
Ten years ago, at the age of 32, I picked up a camera and discovered the enchanting world of photography. From that point on, my journey involved relentless study, practice, and overcoming failures. I delved into understanding light, honed my editing skills, and meticulously crafted a unique style that felt authentically mine. It was a process of self-discovery and artistic definition.
Embracing photography earnestly on Instagram in 2019, I embarked on a mission to create and share meaningful work. Yet, financial success has proven elusive. Securing paying clients and mastering the intricacies of transforming my passion into a thriving business pose ongoing challenges. At 42, I’m acutely aware that the sands of time may have more behind than ahead. The prospect of a perpetual uphill struggle looms, but I’m resolved to face it with dignity and courage.
Despite life’s hardships and numerous hurdles, I’m not throwing in the towel. There’s a fervent desire for life to swing my way a bit more, for my aspirations to materialize sooner. Yet, my love for photography remains unwavering. I’ll persist in molding my creative pursuits into a business that can sustain both myself and my family.